Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
