so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
