You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
