is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize