it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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