I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize