i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
