He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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