You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
