but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
