What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
jump out the window naked night went bad
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