I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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