He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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