Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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