O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
