he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
