wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize