I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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