mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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