i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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