I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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