that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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