So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
