just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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