As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
