What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
