TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
