the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
