She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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