So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
