he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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