dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
