marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
