P.S. I can't hear my feet
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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