Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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