I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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