You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
