I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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