paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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