I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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