i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
