I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
