Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
