dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
