I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
