But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
