Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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