I want to walk on stilts...naked
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
