Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
