Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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