I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
