I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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