just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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