you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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