Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize