in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
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