just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
