You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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