thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
