As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
