The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
