My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
This is the high leading the old right now
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
